Storytime With Seifer and Selphie
by Princess Rena
Summary: Seifer and Selphie team up to delieve a story to a gaggle of young children. Something tells me this isn't going to go very well....


[A.N. This is just a short little fic that I just thought of.It's kind of stupid, not really funny, but I was bored.Wa ha ha.Ooo, guess what!I just won the lottery and bought Final Fantasy and all of its characters!And then some scary men came after me and made me takes something called a 'lie detector' test, and I failed so bad that I am now unable to smell out of my left nostril.]

"All right, children, gather around!That's right, don't be shy.I don't bite…hard.And that's only if I'm really angry—" Selphie broke off as she saw the frightened expression on the children's faces."Err I mean…let's just start the story, ok?"Selphie took out a rather large, impending storybook from behind her back.The eager children gathered closer around her, enthused by the idea of a story.Just as Selphie was about to begin, the door to the library swung open with untold force and a figure in a white trench coat stalked in.

The children all gasped in surprise, as did Selphie, "Seifer, what are YOU doing here?"

Seifer looked at the ground, embarrassed."Well – uh – I – uh – thought you – uh – could – uh – use some help reading to the little brat…I mean, darlings," Seifer spewed.

Selphie's eyes grew wide and a grin slowly spread across her face, "Wow!Seifer, you're doing community service!By choice, even!"She squealed in excitement and threw her arms around Seifer.

"Pft, yeah right.Squally-boy made me do it because I whooped Chicken-Wuss's ass…" Seifer stopped self consciously as he saw every child's right hand fly to their mouth as their eyes dilated in terror."…asphalt in the training center."

Selphie scratched her head, confused, "Asphalt?I don't get it.Oh well, I suppose I could use your help, Seif.You can sit by me and turn the pages!Now, let's begin!" Selphie opened her book to the first page and began to read."Once upon a time…"

Seifer snatched the book away from her."What is this garbage?" he asked incredulously."I brought something much more entertaining."Seifer took out a book that looked like a novel.

"NO WAY.You are NOT reading trashy romance novels to the children!" Selphie screamed in the Diablos voice we've all come to know and love.

Seifer, however, had already taken his reading glasses out, perching them daintily on the bridge of his nose."My dear Selphie, you mistook me!I would never read anything horrific to these precious young ones.This book is a piece of classic literature!"Seifer held up the massive book.It looked as though it contained at least a thousand pages.

Selphie turned her head sideways to read the title, "Les Misérables?You're going to read Les Misérables to them?Don't you think it's a little…err, I don't know, over their heads?"

"Never, my dear girl!It is never too early to start our youth on the greatest story of all time!It's a story of love, triumph and justice!" Seifer jumped onto one of the library tables and began his speech, "This is the most influential book of our time!A musical and a movie have been made for it!Millions have fallen in love with Jean Valjean, Cosette, Eponine, and even tiny Gavroche!We've wept along with Fantine, we've hated the Thénardiers!We've wished for Javert to get a grip!We've felt all these emotions and so many more!Join me in reading this, the greatest book ever!Vive la France!"Seifer threw his arms up in the air, and began to sing several of the more memorable numbers of Les Misérables.This was only ceased when the librarian indignantly pointed to the "quiet!" sign situated on her desk.

Selphie plopped tiredly onto a chair and buried her face in her hands. "This is going to be a long day," she muttered.Seifer had already begun to read to the children.Looks of anticipation turned to boredom, which were quickly turned back to looks of excitement.

"Is she really gonna sell her TEETH, Mr. Seifer?" an empty mouthed eight year old boy asked.Seifer shrugged as if he didn't know, and was about to continue reading when Selphie sprung up from her chair.

"That's IT!" she exclaimed, tearing away the enthralled children from Seifer's words."We've been here for five and a half hours!And I haven't been able to do anything!This was MY project!MINE!!!"Selphie flew into a rage, picking up chairs and throwing them angrily against the wall.She growled as Seifer approached her, bearing a look of concern.

"My dear, if you don't understand the novel, maybe we could get you some Cliff Notes that would further your understa…" Seifer stopped as Selphie slammed a chair leg over his head.Seifer fell to the ground, presumably unconscious.After panting heavily for a few moments, Selphie's perpetual smile returned to her, and she turned back to the terrified children

"Now then!Let's begin a different story, ok?" Any words of disagreement were out of the question, and the children all sat stiffly staring at their new instructor.Selphie took out her original story book and began again, "Once upon a time…"


End file.
